Sunday, 27 April 2014

Bedroom bully

No matter how a man loves to behave as though he is the king of the bedroom I kid you not ladies a you run things.  I have encountered so many women and have heard so many stories about chatty mouth men that have fallen flat on their faces (not in the good way ladies) when the time comes for them to prove them selves. I have come to the conclusion that these men think they are doing  well because ladies your asses be putting it down so  damn good on these fellows that they mistake your work for theirs.
Men are always talking about how many women they have slept with how dem dagger dis and dagger that but most a dem never ever realise that it is the  woman who  does all of the work and hence they were slept with and they were daggered.  

Women are the wheels that keep the sex in a  relationship going, we buy the sexy lingerie, we buy the candles, the chocolates, the scented this and flavored that and yet  men take the  glory for whatever goes on in the bedroom. If it weren't for women sex would simply be for the man to bust a nut, we however have taken this bland wonderful activity and created a fine piece of artistic expression which by no means would be complete without the men in our lives.  If one day all women were to stop going above and beyond for their men in the bedroom I'm sure there would be national and international fasting on men's parts as they would all loose their way.

Women don't walk around talking about how they have conquered, how they made the man cry and bawl fi him modda, How all him coulda duh when she dun wid him a roll over and sleep (Maybe we should though and see how many have  the balls that God gave them to face their friends)  Men go around parading their so called conquests as though it is an activity they performed all on their own without the assistance of the woman. Mek a woman lay down and nuh move, mek she even pretend to be uninterested when a man prepositions her and see how good the act is for him.

We a the bedroom bully and a we run things no matter what a man thinks or would like himself to believe. 

Sunday, 20 April 2014

Men wished we knew

As women we go through life thinking that we are  God's gift to men because we have  the  vaginas, the pillars of life and the  one thing almost  every man cannot live without.  Sorry to say though that some of us take this information (the one about us being so important that life as it is could not go on without us) so much to heart that after a while our men absolutely  and totally cannot stand to be around  us or listen to what we have to say.
This ladies is how to lose a good man in uniquely womanly ways:

1. Nagging and   nagging and nagging is  a definite  no no, no man wants a woman who is constantly chatting and nagging them about things they  haven't done, tasks they  haven't completed  and  objects they have forgotten  to replace.  Although sometimes  it's hard to  hold your tongues... ladies it's best to  just give a man a break and let him be, hopefully he'll get  the  jist.
2.Trying to change a man..  Boy oh boy are  we  ludacris, we pick up a man child and think  to ourselves oh  all he  needs is  a little work...  Utter rubbish; men cannot be  changed  and  will resent you  for trying though  you  might have their best interests at heart.
3. Cook book recipe  book  you waan live a restaurant  an come dun man bank book....  Bloodseed .....  No  man wants a cupsoup  chef,  men love a woman who can cook  and bake and mek dem lick all him knee back  but mess up an try to tell man bout  KFC and China jade every night and you may be alone before you  know  it.
4. If you continuously compare your man to your previous mate he might just run u and tell you to go search  for him.  Men appreciate  a helpful  reprimand and have no problem being told respectfully where they are falling short but if every thing is compared to how Joe did it and how Joe used to say it and how Joe wanted it u may be left without Joe or ur current  Mr. GRIND.
5. Looking like a piece a dirty car rag is acceptable  when your gardening  or if like me you just had a kitchen marathon n your covered  in every ingredient you used but it's not by any means an acceptable  household look.  We should  remember that men appreciate  a nice clean woman who smells just as good as she looks...  Keep yourself pretty nuh leggo u body because the second you start with that crap he'll start looking over  the fence.
6. Never knowing anything about anything annoys a man no end.  Yes he likes being your knight in shining armour but puppa jesas gal how u fi  nuh know nutten at all.  Know where  your garage is, know how to  buy parts at the shop  n know how to run weh a bwoy when him a put argument  to you n you have you good good man a yard.... 
7. Don't beg beg...  Ambulance  girls your time has ended. If your constantly  begging your man for things and have nothing meaningful to add to the relationship  then you will be left.  A man appreciates  a woman who can pull her own weight and contribute  when needed especially in this hard and harsh economic  time.
8.  Lastly if you want to loose you man forget this one cardinal rule.....  Lady in the streets freak wherever (forget  sheets they are outdated)  him want it.  Men love and will cherish a woman who knows how to be a proper lady when she is in public but is his own personal  pinky, Kim kardashian,  Pamela Anderson and dominatrix all wrapped up in one,  He loves when you are able to be that for him and only him. Some women  get it backwards n show trampy behaviour on public and get left out in the cold...  Cover the man's goods and leave certain behaviour  fah behind closed  doors...  Forget that and get left.

Some people  may forget these simple things and get left and some may question my knowledge but I'm  surrounded  by men who I speak to, I have brothers and I listen...
As sis Shields always seh: '' Mercy... Who have ears to hear let him hear''

Sunday, 13 April 2014

If u nuh...U nah...

When a man finds a woman he finds a very good thing and when you find a good woman you should do everything in your power to keep her... There are some things that I've noticed that often cause men to loose their precious gems.
 listen carefully now men:
1.  If you act inferior she will treat you as such and might even find someone who does not have an inferiority complex. The worst thing a man can do is act like he isn't good enough for the lady that has chosen and agreed to be with him .
2.  Every woman hates a clinger, its nice to have a man that wants to spend time with you, but, for the love of Mary Joseph and all that's good do you really need to see her every single day, be all up in her face all the time, know what she is doing all the time? if you cling you will get left... everyone needs and deserves some space.
3. If u wanna get left just try to get her  to give you a running schedule of her  day, everyday! stalkerish behavior much. No adult wants to answer questions about where they are going and what they'll be doing at every waking moment, this will become tedious and cause a girl to combust.
4. Try to hate on her male friends. Girls hold their male friends close to their  hearts, they are the guys that help them out when a tire needs to be changed, when a bulb needs to be changed, and these are the capable shoulders that will drop fists in a heartbeat when some dude steps to her in public. A man trying to get a girl to drop her teddies will get him dropped in  a heartbeat.
5. Diss her best friends. Dem might chat nuff and they might impose on your private time but they were there before you and if you rude dem a guh deh deh after u.
6. Not acknowledging that you got the cream of the crop.  Men often compare their women to others they see and what they envisioned in their minds eyes, men need to  realize that their woman is the best of the best  and they should consider themselves lucky to have been chosen to be apart of her life. (you coulda coochiless and hungry innah dutty clothes)
7. Like some a things she does and pretend to be interested.    Enough said
8. Try  to keep her away from her ex especially if they left on amicable terms, now you trying to come in and assert yourself but don't think that you can push out the person that was there before you. the woman you want has to decide that you can  fit into this persons role take over and improve her life and love her the way she   deserves if u try force up  you ago get force out.
9. Try to check her phone. Not even gonna go there.
10. forgetting  that the way you pamper and preen her is the way you'll be treated in return.
men need to understand that a hundred percent given will be a hundred percent returned, women will pamper and take care of a man who does the same for her to her last breath, however if u forget how to treat her she will forget about you.

Monday, 7 April 2014

The straw that broke this camels back.

I've been going through a whole load a stuff and through  all the  madness I have not  shed  a single  tear...  Things  have  been falling  apart around me and nothing... Then  this  morning  as I got to work I had  one  small accident  and  the flood gates opened...  I couldn't  come  outta d bathroom for about  fifteen minutes because I couldn't stop  crying.  The incident wasn't  that big... Things weren't that  bad  but  today the cumulative force of everything came down n hit me like a brick to the side of the head.... I was  overwhelmed n overwhelmed in  the  worst  possible way....

I was  so  overwhelmed it was  hard to put into exact words what all the things I had weighting down on me were.... I asked God what I had done to be going through this time, what I could do to get rid of it n I kept crying n crying...  I've come to the realisation as I sit at my desk  that I can't change what is happening n u can't remove my trial all I can do is pray n continue to grin n bear it.... God  seh him  nah gimmi more  than mi can bear.... Although  a small straw  broke my back I refuse  to  let  it keep me down I'll get  up n get  my  ass moving......

Thank  you R. Smile.....  The  little  Rock that  I cry to  when I have noone or nowhere  else to go.....

Sunday, 6 April 2014

I've learnt

Things I've learnt in twenties..
1. Friends are expendable true friends you can't live without...
True friends are the people you turn to when things are going great, when things are awful, when your life is a mess but then you can't live without them and they make everything better.
2. A job is a must... a job no matter how big or small will keep u feeling sane and relevant. .. no job equals pure bills, stress n caan guh nowhere or duh nutten.
3. If u listen to u church brothers n sisters u loose u soul salvation. . Focus on u n Jesus, follow his leading... know him for urself. The things ppl say hurt n church people seek to hurt.
4. Enjoy your life now cuz all too soon there is gonna be too much busy time to do squat.
5.  family comes first... apart from your true friends these are the only peoples opinions that you should care about. They will support you when you need it and call you out on your every single time.
6. Your tolerance for bull will wane and it will cost you many acquaintances.You are going to become the one people fear to bring foolishness to because you wont spear a second in calling them out.
7. Your ability to "bleach" stay up all night will become less and less. Trust me you'll still think you can do it but by 1'oclock if your lucky your gonna wanna be home in your bed wrapped up with your man or your teddy bear fast asleep.
8. Never say Never... never thought youd have kids.. guess again... never thought you'd be single... glance to your left never thought youd say never welcome to the real world, it wont be easy to accept but it comes with its perks.... Ill never stop eating ice cream....
9. Its good to still watch cartoons and a little Disney sometimes it helps you to smile and not totally freak out about the economy, the impending loss of a job, how the bills will be paid.. you know typical adult problems... just pick an evening a day if you have the time and just be a kid.
10 Finally Ive learnt that the things that make you happy at the moment might not be the best thing for you... look for things that make you happy in the long term things that make your heart sing.... Temporary people and temporary things leggo dat.

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

I'm not too sold on this thing

When I was younger I never thought of myself getting married and so while other young girls were busy planning this elaborate fantasy I was there looking like, where are my snacks? When I got older I started to think about this marriage thing because I thought heck I have a great man, we get along very very well why not get married , we discussed it and I was ok with the notion of this marriage fantasy until braps the man mash up the two a we life, and dang it I was back in the land of "who cares about this marriage thing" for one I was alone and Two I still wasn't completely sold on the idea.

Now here I am closer to this blasted dreaded thirty  than I am to my Twenties and I'm still not sold on the idea. Bwoy mi probably just too miserable, too I can do me and get by, too little things like that don't matter, too I can't be bothered to be a mother to an adult man forever, too mi nah gi u my heart a hell because you truly cant handle it at all.

Marriage is good (Ive heart from the same men and women who bun  and are utterly miserable in their marriages) Marriages take a lot of work but  can be quite rewarding (say my divorced friends) I am happily unmarried or so I tell myself and I just dont see myself in a marriage relationship; this then lends itself  to  greater questions; Am I not satisfied  where I am, Is my partner not my perfect other half, Am I too selfish to share my world with someone else?  mi nuh agree with any a these thoughts a baxide....

 I'm just not sold on this marriage thing.