So I've been away for a bit, I've returned to answer two questions and one will be the bloggity blog blog...
Question 1... Why haven't I been blogging?
The thing is for the past couple months my life has been wrapped around the fingers of a small human and the little time I got to myself I used to eat , catch up on housework and sleep. Blogging though I missed it was not a priority..
QUESTION number two and probably the question I've been asked the most of late.
Don't you miss sex and a partner?
To be very honest no I don't miss sex surprise of all surprises... at first I was really worried that maybe a part of me had stopped working because I never thought of it, and when person's asked it was just so foreign a concept I had to take a deep breath before I answered. it has been so long and I've been so occupied I truly cannot remember it so thank God it doesn't bother me.
Now missing a partner..yes I do miss having a partner and though I have great friends and family there is something about that quiet moment late at night when chores are complete and the baby is asleep when I lay in my bed and I long for someone to talk to. I long to have have someone hold Kai while completing an in-house task or even to sit with us for a meal. I miss a partner for what I've never had and that is a family for myself and my son. Now prospects have come and gone... fine ones at that God fearing men with good jobs and who appear to genuinely like me because who wants a single mother who has no intention of being intimate with you and makes that abundantly clear. But and here is the answer to the question...
I have never wanted a man who was not my child's father to be intimately involved in raising him and though I know this must/will happen I have not yet wrapped my mind around it so I'm taking my time.
Heartbreak is a helluva thing and though some persons are able to deal with it quickly and move along some (like myself) need additional time to gather their bearings. Im trying to master the crap outta this mothering thing, re-learn how to love NOT only myself but my God and get the body right and tight.
I miss a partner but I'm not in need of a partner, using this time to not rush into anything but to focus on who matters (me) and to give the best parts of me to my child. When the time is right God won't just send a boyfriend or a man I may like, he will send a husband(hopefully... not even sure bout that anymore ...but that's for another blog).
NB.. THESE ARE MY UNEDITED THOUGHTS WRITTEN WHILE A SIX MONTH OLD IS FIGHTING ME FOR MY PHONE.
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