Sunday, 23 November 2014

Big up to Mi real frens

Friends... They will make you or they will break you.  Over the years I haven't been a very social being therefore I haven't picked up many friends, but, the ones I met along the way have taught me some very valuable lessons....

Lesson one...
Some people are only in friendships for what they can gain..  Be it money, sex, information to take and trade or just for having information sake or food.  These friends are plentiful and hard to weave through for they appear genuine but life is always easier without them. 

Lesson Two
The friends you think you need the most are the people you can live without most times...  These are the people who affect you and help to define you in ways that may cause you to loose yourself, it is important to keep yourself and your head above the sea of madness that  these friends come with or you may find yourself becoming replicas of these people.

Lesson Three

Friends are supposed to have your back but some persons take this too literally and you end up piggy backing them through the duration of the friendship.  Every relationship is supposed to be a Fifty fifty...  If you friend nah pull dem weight...  Cut dem off.

Lesson Four
Not all friends are good at giving advice.
If you follow some friends they lead you down into the pit of fiery destruction.  Sometimes instead of consulting friends it's best to take some time, Think about the situation and make the decision that's in the best interest of yourself and whoever the hell else the situation might concern.

Lesson five
Sometimes the people you meet late in life and who you've formed bonds with can mean more to you than those you've known all your life.  A group of friends shouldn't be people you try to fit your self into but who know your quirks, know your little idiosyncrasies and the group is that much better because of it.

Lesson Six
Do not try to make the friendship complicated...  Love is a simple thing and that's all  a friendship needs to survive..  Love and with that will come honesty, selflessness, genuine care and concern and bonds that will form a life time.

Chris Martin - Fi Mi Friend Dem (Official Video) …:

Sunday, 16 November 2014

It's not an easy road

Living vicariously through others is what we do on a constant basis but when someone dictates another person's life because of the way they would have Loved theirs to be there is just something too creepy and too wrong about that. 

The mother who wants her daughter to be a nurse because as a child she wanted to be a nurse puts so much strain on the child they would not believe.  I've witnessed young persons totally stumped and confused almost suicidal even, when it comes unto time to choose their course of study which will guide them into their chosen careers because what they are being guided to do just isn't what they truly want to do.

I've also  seen adults choose their lifelong partners based on the 'guidance'  of their parents not because they love the person but because it would cause problems in their family and their parents would be very displeased with any other choice.  Do these persons not have opinions and feelings of their own? you mean to tell me that a mother/parents would rather see their child unhappy rather than put aside what they would have them do.

When I was coming into my own and was just starting to form friendship bonds I wanted to do what my friends were doing like any good Jamaican parents mine  asked 'Suh if so and so a jump offa cliff you a jump too' I would then be forced to look in myself and make the correct decisions.  By not allowing persons the right to choose and make their own decisions the decision makers are inevitably pushing these poor persons off of cliffs that  they weren't ready to jump from  or would have never jumped from in the first place.

Some individuals have made so many mistakes  or have failed to do do many things that they believe it is their life's mission to make decisions for others whether their input was solicited or not.  That is why there are so many social misfits today..  Persons (they know themselves)  are stunting others growth by not giving them a chance to develop  the way they need to develop which is by making decisions and also mistakes at times.  I've heard my father tell the story of some butterflies that were coming out of their cacoon and a gentleman seeing the struggle tried  to be helpful and cut one out...  The others who broke out on their own were stretching their wings and flew off proudly but the butterfly who didn't get a chance to exercise his freewill laid on the ground crippled and later died.

Living is good... Living vicariously can also be good, but overwhelming and stifling who another person is for our own personal pleasure is tantamount to murder..  Murder of a personality and  murder of free will...  The journey of others may not be lived the way you would want it to be but everyone is different and what you want...  What you aspire to might not be the same for everyone else. 

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Affairs of the heart

I haven't been living for a long time  therefore I believe that I am not the wisest or most lived person in my circle but I have been very observant and I've lived through a slew of things that have me consider myself well lived.  The hardest part of my life so far has been the part that concerns my heart . Every try Mi try Mi loose.

I have a group of older gentlemen at my church who I believe live for my sabbath hugs and kisses and also to ask me about my love life. Every week they ask and every week I shame facedly tell them the same thing  'no luck this week I'm still all alone ' once one of them said something to me and I can't seem to shake it., my favourite lovey remarked ' I don't know how a lovely lady like you single..  Back in my day you would be wifed up already' is it me?, is the men I like or what? ..

What I've noticed is that the older men around tend to find the qualities that strong determined women have more endearing than younger men and are therefore more eager to engage us in conversation.  The younger men or men my age seem to have a problem with a progressive no nonsense woman who is not afraid to call them on their bullshit.  Is it the ego of the young male or the brashness of the modern day career woman that often causes us to be alone.

Career is good career is great but if it means that at the age of forty I will still be alone no kids.. No spouse to drive me crazy then I believe id rather not be so career oriented...  Yes career may feed you... Yes career may pay the  bills but what about mental stability is that not at all important? 
I remember a time when I saw a woman all miserable and 'of a certain'  age my internal response would be 'a bet  a man she want'  I don't want to be that woman, no woman wants to be that woman.

People are always quick to say having a spouse doesn't mean happiness one must be happy with oneself before you can be happy with someone else...  Who ever said the need for companionship meant we weren't happy with ourselves the good lord himself ensured he created Eve for Adam as he knew companionship was important.  I say all this to say I've realised that it is not good good to be alone and whether or not we believe it, we sometimes push the person/persons we need the most away and end up alone... alone n miserable.  Before we make drastic decisions that will affect ur hearts we should stop...  Stop and think long and hard not about what we want but about what we truly need.

Live, learn, achieve but most of all love