Affairs of the heart

I haven't been living for a long time  therefore I believe that I am not the wisest or most lived person in my circle but I have been very observant and I've lived through a slew of things that have me consider myself well lived.  The hardest part of my life so far has been the part that concerns my heart . Every try Mi try Mi loose.

I have a group of older gentlemen at my church who I believe live for my sabbath hugs and kisses and also to ask me about my love life. Every week they ask and every week I shame facedly tell them the same thing  'no luck this week I'm still all alone ' once one of them said something to me and I can't seem to shake it., my favourite lovey remarked ' I don't know how a lovely lady like you single..  Back in my day you would be wifed up already' is it me?, is the men I like or what? ..

What I've noticed is that the older men around tend to find the qualities that strong determined women have more endearing than younger men and are therefore more eager to engage us in conversation.  The younger men or men my age seem to have a problem with a progressive no nonsense woman who is not afraid to call them on their bullshit.  Is it the ego of the young male or the brashness of the modern day career woman that often causes us to be alone.

Career is good career is great but if it means that at the age of forty I will still be alone no kids.. No spouse to drive me crazy then I believe id rather not be so career oriented...  Yes career may feed you... Yes career may pay the  bills but what about mental stability is that not at all important? 
I remember a time when I saw a woman all miserable and 'of a certain'  age my internal response would be 'a bet  a man she want'  I don't want to be that woman, no woman wants to be that woman.

People are always quick to say having a spouse doesn't mean happiness one must be happy with oneself before you can be happy with someone else...  Who ever said the need for companionship meant we weren't happy with ourselves the good lord himself ensured he created Eve for Adam as he knew companionship was important.  I say all this to say I've realised that it is not good good to be alone and whether or not we believe it, we sometimes push the person/persons we need the most away and end up alone... alone n miserable.  Before we make drastic decisions that will affect ur hearts we should stop...  Stop and think long and hard not about what we want but about what we truly need.

Live, learn, achieve but most of all love