Sunday, 16 November 2014

It's not an easy road

Living vicariously through others is what we do on a constant basis but when someone dictates another person's life because of the way they would have Loved theirs to be there is just something too creepy and too wrong about that. 

The mother who wants her daughter to be a nurse because as a child she wanted to be a nurse puts so much strain on the child they would not believe.  I've witnessed young persons totally stumped and confused almost suicidal even, when it comes unto time to choose their course of study which will guide them into their chosen careers because what they are being guided to do just isn't what they truly want to do.

I've also  seen adults choose their lifelong partners based on the 'guidance'  of their parents not because they love the person but because it would cause problems in their family and their parents would be very displeased with any other choice.  Do these persons not have opinions and feelings of their own? you mean to tell me that a mother/parents would rather see their child unhappy rather than put aside what they would have them do.

When I was coming into my own and was just starting to form friendship bonds I wanted to do what my friends were doing like any good Jamaican parents mine  asked 'Suh if so and so a jump offa cliff you a jump too' I would then be forced to look in myself and make the correct decisions.  By not allowing persons the right to choose and make their own decisions the decision makers are inevitably pushing these poor persons off of cliffs that  they weren't ready to jump from  or would have never jumped from in the first place.

Some individuals have made so many mistakes  or have failed to do do many things that they believe it is their life's mission to make decisions for others whether their input was solicited or not.  That is why there are so many social misfits today..  Persons (they know themselves)  are stunting others growth by not giving them a chance to develop  the way they need to develop which is by making decisions and also mistakes at times.  I've heard my father tell the story of some butterflies that were coming out of their cacoon and a gentleman seeing the struggle tried  to be helpful and cut one out...  The others who broke out on their own were stretching their wings and flew off proudly but the butterfly who didn't get a chance to exercise his freewill laid on the ground crippled and later died.

Living is good... Living vicariously can also be good, but overwhelming and stifling who another person is for our own personal pleasure is tantamount to murder..  Murder of a personality and  murder of free will...  The journey of others may not be lived the way you would want it to be but everyone is different and what you want...  What you aspire to might not be the same for everyone else.