Sunday, 13 July 2014

I expected it and I hoped for it now watch me while I claim it

So I was looking at my life the other day  and it suddenly occurred to me that what is expected /hoped for and what one receives are two completely different things  sometimes.  When I was in high school I expected that when I went to college ( surprisingly looking back I never realised I had the option to not go to college it was the logical next step) I would have the time of my life have a steady boyfriend, party and live the college life...  Yes that was fun for like two seconds then I started to think.....  Now what?

I expected that when I left college I'd have a good teaching job where I'd be making money and I would go where I wanted when I wanted, buy a lot of clothes and shoes and have an absolutely fabulous existence....  Then the economy happened now I'm living from payday to day after payday like a common hobo.

I met  a wonderful  man planned  out my life  and  everything was  going good.  I knew the name I was  going to give my child, the intended school, how we were going to live, where we were going to live and life  was  perfect...  Then reality set in. What the hell is wrong with reality can't she just stay on the back burner n leave us to blissful dream existence.

I hoped that I'd always love my job because I've always wanted to be a teacher (apart from that brief period when I was about nine when I wanted to be a gogo cuz I thought they looked so pretty when they danced on TV)  now I don't mind my job,  I do it n I like it but the love I once had is not there anymore I'm just going through the motions trying to teach those who want to learn n not commit mass murder when I see those throwing away a perfectly good opportunity.

Even though my life is not exactly what I hoped /expected it to be I'm single and  happy, I have great friends don't know how I would manage without them (especially Mi Yardies... luv Unnu like carrot cake) I have a job I like, even though I own a car I don't go anywhere because I can't be bothered to drive.  I'm  happy with how things are because I've learnt and I'm learning about the resilience that is stored up in this tiny little body.

For most when life doesn't go the way they want they get upset and say God has forsaken them but I've come to realise that every time God takes something away, changes what I've been hoping for or side steps my expectations is only to prepare me for something greater.  Now tell me if he loves us all equally why  would he keep coming  through for me and leave you out in the  cold....  Claim your victory people stop expecting stop hoping start claiming.