Ninety six degrees in the shade...Real hot...in the shade

The first three months of my pregnancy were the worst.. I could not eat,I was always tired and biggest in my mind at the time I became a single mother chick...
Fast forward two weeks before June 22 and see me big,tired yet quite rosey and never having a problem in the world but being cat called and having swollen feet. Yes cat called, who knew men liked pregnant women🤣. Well the two weeks before your glorious arrival my coworkers decided to guilt me into going home because I hadn't yet taken a break not even a day and they kept teasing me that you were going to be born at school. Why would I want to go home though. My house was lonely and empty and the persons I truly wanted to be around were at work.
God had his own plans though and I became ill for the first time in my second and third trimester I didn't feel well I was forced to go home🤢.
   Happy as a lark my mamma moved me in and tended to our every need. I refused to take antibiotics and any form of med as I somehow felt it would hurt you. I began an intense course of honey and lime and garlic and honey items that I dared not touch before and by God will never touch again... took me awhile but I began to feel like myself again all this time you were perfect all nice and wiggly. My school family called and messaged to check in, my suitors called to check in (yes.let me repeat there are men who were attracted to pregnant me) my friends called to check in...my family never left my side.

June 20 I was in Mandeville with mommy and my two nieces and we had a good lunch date etc. Came home and it so happened a kitten was in our yard. My nieces and I chased the kitten were in the garden and I was just a bundle of giggling bliss... fast forward  an hour... broom in hand and sweeping the verandah....
Gush... gush gush... what the living hell... finish sweeping the verandah...gush...
Mommy sumn yucky going on... water keeping running out of my (points to female bits)
Oh yuh water break gwaan guh bathe.
As I walk gush gush gush
I sit on the toilet and call my friend Marcia and inform her. (Yes kai when you read this Aunty menia) I text my two other friends and  call Rowe  and finish my bathroom business.
Mommy asks if I'm ready and tell her nope , I carry down my hospital bag and request my dinner .. All this time my dad outside has no idea what is happening (men panic and I wanted to eat my dinner and see the news before I left home) mark you my water broke around 3 :15🤣
We dropped my niece home and drove to the hospital.

Arriving at the hospital no one took me seriously that I was in labour as I was so calm and I wasn't hollering in pain (my threshold is quite high) I did all the paperwork. My momma and sister and dad looked so worried (according to mommy me we innah pain n don't talk). The nurses were about to send me home when one smart lady said  let's check her... bloop they can't send me home 3 centimeters dialated.... everyone left me in the hospital. That night I was checked about 8 different times ... no-one could understand why I wasn't feeling any pain.
Early the next morning I was summoned to the labour room and hooked up to machines I would not dialate and was still gushing water ... I could see worry on faces but no-one would speak to me. They attached a monitor to me so they could hear the baby and so began day 2. To be honest I don't remember much of seeing my mom or my family .. I remember them stringing me up my wrist my arm on both hands and the horrible beeping I also remember the hunger I could not eat... had not eaten since the day before.

I would not dilate pass 3 cm and again I felt panicked as not nurses but doctors kept coming to see me and they wouldn't talk in front of me only outside. My pressure kept up and down and the nurses were telling me to relax... I'm hungry (all who know me know I don't manage hunger well) and no-one would tell me what was happening... T hey gave me meds to speed up the labour and had to abort that mission a couple times because the baby's heart rate fell then I panicked so they gave me meds to start then had to give me meds to halt the process and I just would not dilate.

Scared I was, hungry I was, tired as hell I was .. then late in the evening the doctor sent me out. I took the opportunity to eat a little something and make  some calls. That night the lady on the bed beside me lost her baby.. she cried and chatted on the phone  until Fed up and scared by the story she repeated to everyone I got up... asking the nurse at the desk can I sit with you she asked me why angrily ,when I told her ...the tone changed and she said sure... I sat there until morning.

Day 3. They came to get me before 6 and everyone in the room was asking is what happen, is what happen including myself but without a word I was wisked off to the delivery room. Again I didn't see my family and I didn't eat.  I was strung up and the doctor informed me that they were going to do all they could today... by this time my lady parts were in pain from all the prodding my body was in pain from the induced labour and to be honest I did not feel quite there from the drugs. Midday the doctor came back and told me they are going to do an emergency csection if they baby did not come and they gave me more meds... when I screamed in pain the doc told them to give me pain meds... the nurse did so reluctantly and the relief was minuscule. 1,2,3 nothing the doc came back and said we are going to prep you shortly as nothing is happening and the baby may go into duress and in order to ensure both your safety we have to do a c section... half an hour later a nurse check me and tadah to   freaking God I was at 5 cm.
Around 4 I started to feel like I was going crazy my teeth were chattering from the pain and I just could not stop singing (wouldn't even get into my song choices) I called the nurse  and informed her the baby was coming I was instructed to stop my noise as the baby hadnt come all this time how baby muss come now ... I just started yelling that the baby was gonna drop out and she came huffing and puffing reached her gloved hand down and then began to panic.  She was running around trying to get dressed trying to give me instructions and getting everything together. She told me to push and things happened nasty things happened but no baby .. my boy was stuck in the birthing canal... the nurse was yelling that I was killing the baby and panic set in I started to cry my blood pressure went sky high and nothing I could not push I could do nothing and everyone was panicking I was giving up... I was suddenly just so tired.

Then across the room I heard a lady rejoicing and praying and saying thank you for her baby and I thought.. but this Oman old and barky and me young and fit... God bless me with a healthy seed and me a form fool... one push and nothing two pushes and kai slid onto the bed and into the world a mess of insides and shooting pee all over the place.the nurse asked what kind of baby do you have I said I don't know, she said look...I looked and said I don't know but the last time she asked I said I have my boy my kainoa I was so ecstatic I just cried I held my mess of a boy on my hands. The doctors came shortly after and took him away... they ran all sorts of tests and I sat patiently and waited as he was in the passage and in me for so long after my water broke he was sort of an anomaly and they had to check that all was well...

He was so tiny and he was mine I held him and kissed him and prayed over him ...when I got out my momma and Carolyn and Steve were there ... mommy was so relieved. She thought I had died or the baby had died(she said I would have had to be put on suicide watch if that had happened) . That night doctors came to see the baby and the next morning the same. All introduced themselves checked him and gave me numbers to call if I see anything at all with the baby.  3 months 2 weeks later what have I seen with the baby nothing but a chest rattle he was born with and an advanced 18 pound chunk of activeness.

Never have I felt a love so pure ,so unwavering so raw and animalistic.

Kai when your older and you read this just see what mommy went through to have you, when you think of doing something bad read this and know,  when you  feel even the slightest bit unloved read this and know  MOMMY LOVES YOU AND SHE WILL DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN HER POWER FOR YOU😘.